4th May 2015
I am laughing and thinking already that I have set myself an impossible task, but yet it's an important one, so I will try my very best! I have decided to update my blog every day this week, as it's Deaf Awareness Week - let's make some more people aware!
The obvious place to start is with a diagnosis of Deafness - for our little Princess, this happened when she was 6 weeks old. A time when as new parents you are exhausted, but overjoyed to be starting a relationship with your new baby. A time when you are full of hopes and dreams for her future. A time when everything seems possible and everyone is admiring your beautiful baby.
Diagnosis of profound Deafness changes things for a while.
At first, we were just in shock - the tests must be wrong, she will be fine, we will retest, surely she will grow out of this problem, did the examiner do the tests correctly?
We tested her ourselves - banging saucepans, slamming doors, shouting, making loud noises while she was sleeping (I guess this was also a denial phase).
Of course, none of this worked, the examiner was right, our perfect little princess couldn't hear anything, she was living in a world of silence.
Thankfully, our baby was blissfully unaware of any of this and she was as happy as she could be and today is still one of the happiest, most contented babies I have ever met.
Amidst our confusion, we of course searched Google and couldn't find the info we needed, however thankfully we found NDCS (national society for deaf children), which provided us with information of a local support group and also a freephone helpline.
The helpine staff were excellent, so supportive, comforting, understanding and informative. They arranged for us to be called back by an audiologist to give us more specific information, which was superb and really helped. They also empowered us to phone back to the audiologist at our local hospital who had examined our Princess and ask for more information and explanations of the tests.
Our local support group were invaluable, and still are! Sound Friends have been a shoulder to cry on and so much more: fellow parents who know how we feel and can give us support, the benefit of their experiences and tips of the next stages we will go through. It's brilliant to know other parents in the sam position as us and also for our kids to meet deaf children and other siblings of deaf children to gain understanding and support for themselves.
We have attended NDCS events, training courses and support meetings, we have taken the whole family along to Sound Friens events and I am just about to complete my Level 1 BSL and have recently started my Level 2 BSL. Throughout all of this (12.5 months) we have made some wonderful friends and learnt so much - we have so many people to thank for helping us get to the stage we are at now, it would be impossible to name them (this is the nearest I will ever get to an Oscars speech!), but it's safe to say that each of them also have an extremely long list of supporters too.
We are no longer fearful for Charlotte's future, we have gained so much from our Deaf networks through Sound Friends, NDCS, BSL classes and Facebook, that we are very happy to allow our daughter to develop at her own pace and see where life takes her, just like our three hearing sons. Her hearing loss doesn't define her, although it will always be a part of her (and a part that I am very proud of!). There is no reason, that with the right help and support, that Princess cannot turn into the woman she dreams of, just like any other "normal" child (what is normal anyway? Haven't met a normal person yet!?!).
In closing tonight, I thought I would share some tips for good communication with a deaf person:
1. Maintain eye contact with the person
2. Don't talk slower or louder than usual as this distorts your mouth, making it harder to lip read
3. Don't have a bright light or window behind you as this puts your mouth in shadow (bad again for lip reading)
4. Use facial expressions and hand gestures or signs to help understanding and emphasis of your conversation
5. Don't eat, drink, smoke, cover your mouth or chew gum while conversing with a deaf person as they will not be able to read your lips
6. Only allow one person to talk at a time
7. Don't give up and say it doesn't matter, try again, or use another communication method
8. Reduce background noise
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